Find A Perfect Mate

Long-Distance Relationships Can Be Sweet!

2011-03-03T08:23:00.000-08:00

Having a successful relationship with someone who lives around the corner is difficult.

Having a successful relationship with someone who lives thousands of miles away is twice the challenge.

It might be hard to imagine maintaining a thriving long-distance relationship, but imagine how you’d feel if you let fear and physical separation get in the way of your happiness. Though this kind of relationship does present hurdles and stumbling blocks that other relationships do not, a long-distance relationship can flourish if both partners are dedicated to making it work.

For successful long-distance love, keep these things in mind:

- Make sure you’re both on the same page. You must establish the rules and goals of your relationship right away. Are you exclusive or open? What are your aspirations for the relationship? How will you refer to yourselves (“Dating?” “Seeing each other?” “Boyfriend and girlfriend?” “Lovers?” “Partners?”)? Is relocation a possibility if the relationship takes a more serious turn? Discussing these issues might be uncomfortable, but it’s nothing compared to the discomfort and heartache that comes from misunderstandings.

- Don’t succumb to jealousy. It’s easy to let your imagination run wild when you’re apart, but it will destroy your relationship. If they miss one scheduled phone call, it’s not the end of the world! To help curb jealousy, be honest with your partner always, and learn to communicate effectively.

- Share the responsibility. Don’t always expect your partner to send letters or initiate phone conversations – a one-sided relationship will lead to resentment.

- Give your partner something to remind them of you. Every time they hold or use it, you’ll be on their mind!

- Do things together, even when you’re apart. Phone calls, emails, and text messages get boring after a while. While they are important elements of long-distance relationships, there are many other ways a long-distance couple can feel connected with each other. Watch the same movie at the same time. Listen to the same CD together. Cook the same meal for dinner. Learn to play the same instrument or sport. Take a class on the same subject. Read a book together (or to each other over the phone or via Skype). Send flowers, letters, care packages, photos, and other gifts to surprise your partner. Talking about shared experiences like these will help you defy the distance. As long as both partners are committed to its success, a long-distance relationship is a totally viable option for your love life.

Karma, Life, Destiny Or Fate, What Makes Relationships Work?

2011-03-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

It’s just karma; for every action, there is a reaction; it must be fate; this was destined to be; these are all clichés that we have heard time and again, but what do they really mean. According to Wikipedia Karma is the result of cause and effect, and here at It’s Just Karma we want to explore that dynamic in relationships.
Who has ever met two people at the exact same time and taken and instant like for one and an instant dislike for the other? What is it in our minds that determine who or what we like and don’t like. Is this a result of Karma? BeCause you find one more attractive than the other, the effect is that you like them more.

Have you ever noticed that when we meet a person who does not interest us romantically, they fall in love with us as if we are their soul mates? Then on the other hand when we meet someone who is attractive to us, they tend to display ambivalence and aloofness towards us. What is really the cause between the two that has such an effect on the outcome of relationships?

In the case of relationships between members of the opposite sex, I believe the initial reaction is based solely on appearances. When you first meet someone and declare “I really like this person”, what you actually mean is “I really like the way this person looks”. No one can possibly decide they really LIKE someone they have only known for a week. The reality is you don’t even know this person. You have a strong attraction and want to get to know them, but you do not know them.Some couples declare “It was love at first sight”. For me, this translates into “It was lust at first sight”. Some of these couples are happy enough to remain in this partnership until actual love develops, but usually once the lust fizzles out so does the relationship.

Most people go through life with this quest to find that perfect someone. Some people are successful while others are not. Where lie’s the secret to this success? I am embarking on a journey of understanding. I am determined to understand how men and women think about people of the opposite sex, friends, and relationships as a whole. I welcome input from both sexes about all kinds of relationships.

Dating And Age: Is It Really Just A Number?

2011-03-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

“Cougar.” “Cradle robber.” “Gold digger.” “Jailbait.” “May-December romance.” “Boy toy.” “Lolita.”

The English lexicon is packed with disparaging terms used to describe relationships between people who are dating and have a large gap in their ages. When marriages were arranged merely for convenience, like monetary gain or a raise in social status, age differences were not uncommon. In fact, they were often the norm. These days, however, an older man who dates a younger woman is often accused of taking advantage of her, while a younger man who dates an older woman is teased about having “mommy-issues” or being a kept man.

Which point of view is the reality? When it comes to dating Is age ever really just a number? Before embarking on a serious relationship in which an age gap is involved, consider the following questions:
Are you in tune with your partner’s concerns?

It’s true that you are dating a person, not a birth date, but age and experience will still factor into your relationship. If you are dating someone older, they might feel threatened by people in your life that they perceive as more attractive because they are younger. They may also worry that you are missing out on vital life experiences by being with them. If you are dating someone younger, he or she might feel inadequate when compared to your older, more mature acquaintances. Make sure that your partner never feels that they are lacking in any way.

Are you heavily influenced by the opinions of others?
You are likely to encounter many questions and criticisms regarding your relationship – if you can’t handle them without getting hurt, a relationship with an age gap is probably not for you.
What are your long-term relationship goals?

An age difference may not seem like a problem at first, but it might become an issue as the relationship progresses. What if one person plans to retire and then travel, while the other is stuck in one place working or finishing a degree? What if one person is ready to get married and have a family, and the other is not? For a relationship with an age gap to work, both partners must have similar life plans.

If you are serious about making your relationship work, it can turn into a wonderful short-term learning experience or a strong long-term bond. So take a chance – broaden your horizons and give yourself the opportunity to gain a new perspective on life and relationships.

What Men Need To Know About Dating And Relationships

2011-03-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

What may seem surprising to a lot of women is that there are plenty of men in the world who have similar desires regarding dating and relationships, that women have. There are also a lot of men who have problems with dating and finding the right woman with whom to build a real relationship. So with these men in mind, I did some research on available dating and relationship advice for men.
What I found was that there really is not a lot of good advice available online for men. For some reason, most people seem to think that the questions on these subjects are asked only by the female gender. But here is some of the best relationship advice for men who are looking for that special someone.
What most men need to understand is that women actually like a lot of the things that men find attractive. At our core, there are a lot of similarities between the sexes. Following are a few
Women like a little mystery. In fact some mystery in the beginning is essential. A good mystery needs to be solved. Women become determined to get to the bottom of it, and in the process good things can develop.
Women like a bit of a challenge. A man who declares his undying love for a woman after knowing her for three weeks is no challenge. Typically men crave physical intimacy and women are looking for love. The same way a female will hold back with the physical intimacy is the same way a man should hold back on declarations of adoration.
Women like men who appear strong. A strong man gives the impression that he will both take charge, and yield when the need arises. This gives women the feeling of security that they all want from their relationship without sacrificing compromise.
Women like confident men. Be sure of yourself and a woman will think you are capable of anything. Both men and women like to feel that their partner can and will take care of them. You scratch my back and I will scratch yours!
As with all relationships, it goes both ways. Yin and Yang must work together to create a peaceful universe. The challenge is to put the two halves together to create a happy whole. Following this dating relationship advice for men is sure to get you off in the right direction.

Are You Making These Body Language Mistakes With Your Hands?

2011-02-28T14:42:00.001-08:00

Unfortunately, what you do with your hands can be one of the quickest non-verbal ways to destroy the attraction that a woman feels for you, because the wrong hand movements can communicate that you are a low-status, beta male. To make matters worse, your hands can be particularly tough to manage because, let's face it, when you feel nervous, the hardest thing in the world is figuring out what to do with your hands!
For success with your dating and seduction of women, make sure you don't make the following body language mistakes with your hands.
MISTAKE ONE. Displaying your anxiety with your hands.
You do this when you:
1) Shred napkins.
2) Make your hands into fists.
3) Sit on your hands.
4) Hold something and play with it.
5) Twiddle your fingers or thumbs.
6) Hold your hands unnaturally still.
7) Sit on your hands to avoid having the woman see them tremble.
Although you might be feeling nervous, the last thing you want to do is to let the woman detect you feel that way.
Instead you want to convey that you're calm and in control. Nothing attracts a woman more than a man who's laid back and confident.
MISTAKE TWO. Putting your fingers into your mouth.
When you bite your nails or otherwise chew on your fingers, you are, according to psychologists, doing the same thing that infants are doing when they suck their mother's breast.
For a baby, breast feeding provides comfort. When we became toddlers, our thumbs replaced our mom's nipple.
And then as adults, biting our thumbnail does the same thing. Ever noticed that when you're out in public, you mainly bite your nails when you're under pressure?
THE SOLUTION. Just hold your hands relaxed on the table.
Rest your forearms on the table, keeping your arms open and letting them drop forward.
Keep your hands and arms open and relaxed. Most of the time this means having them about 18 inches or half a meter apart, your palms facing each other, with fingers curved slightly upward.
As your palms face each other, they should also face the woman. Open palms convey honesty and being completely comfortable with yourself. Having the back of your hands facing her can often convey that you're hiding something.
Demonstrating your confidence can be as easy as that! Stop twiddling your thumbs and watch the women flock to you.

Why are you single?

2011-02-18T12:50:00.000-08:00

If you’re single, I’m sure you’ve asked yourself more than once: “Why me?” As for the answer, chances are your friends and family may have been more than, ahem, generous in offering their opinions, and I’ll bet that little voice in your head has had a say, too. But before you find fault in what you’re doing on the dating scene, take a look at what you’re thinking. You may simply be suffering from a slight spell of dating pessimism.

I look at dating this way: sometimes it’s not about what actually happens on dates; rather, it’s your explanation of what happened that makes all the difference in your attitude about love, your dating style, and the energy you’re radiating in the presence of your matches. It’s a theory that Martin Seligman, Ph.D., the father of positive psychology and author of Authentic Happiness calls your “explanatory style.” He says that pessimists explain their problems as pervasive (“No one likes me”), permanent (“I’ll be alone forever”) and personal (“I’m not gorgeous enough”). But you’re far more likely to land in a great relationship if you’re an optimist, which means it’s time to start looking at your negative dating experiences as “atypical,” “temporary” and “not about me.”

Here, for example, are some of the most common (and frustrating) reasons that people believe they aren’t going to find someone to date. If you’ve ever said any of the statements below, I’ll help you pep-talk yourself through the pessimism and remind you of qualities to focus on instead in order to prepare yourself for a successful relationship.

“Nobody is looking for someone like me.” This is a “pervasive” way to look at your situation, declaring that your single status is both far-reaching and without exceptions. But look at what you’re really saying: nobody is looking for someone like you. That is just plain wrong! Take the “specific” point of view instead: for whatever reason, the last few failed dates you had were, indeed, looking for someone different — but so were you! You want someone who loves and appreciates your unique qualities and one-of-a-kind laugh, right? Then keep your eyes peeled for that person. You two just haven’t met yet.

“I’m cursed. I’ll never meet anyone.” This your way of thinking of your current single status as “permanent” — and it’s obviously not true. You meet lots of new people all the time. You just haven’t met anyone lately that inspired romantic feelings in you, which is more common than you think. As a dating optimist, look at your permanent “table for one” reservation as a “temporary” seat at the bar instead. From now on, tell yourself the truth: “I haven’t met anyone I like yet, but I will.”

“I’m not attractive/smart/rich/young/hot enough.” Here’s what’s wrong with this reasoning: You’re taking the opinions of strangers too personally. I don’t blame you — it certainly feels personal because it’s not your résumé or pencil drawing that someone is rejecting; that someone is rejecting you. But if someone doesn’t want to date you, it’s not about you personally, it’s about the connection (or lack thereof). I’ll say that again because it’s important: It’s not about you, it’s about the fact that you don’t share a romantic connection with this particular person. You might be face to face with someone who has all the qualities you want in a partner on paper — smart, funny, attractive, driven, comes from a good family — but no matter how many matches you strike, you can’t seem to fire up that crucial spark that sets your hearts aflame. That’s all the proof you need to know it’s not about you; the right partner will be just as into you, too. Forget about what people might think of you and focus on the connection you feel instead.

“Men/Women just don’t like people as _________ as me.” Yes, they do! Let me ask you this: Do you have a friend? Does one human being out there enjoy spending time with you? Then people do like you — you just haven’t made that specific romantic connection with anyone… yet.

“I’m better at being single. I guess I’m just supposed to stay single forever.” Just because one failed relationship brought you down doesn’t mean you’re meant to be alone for life. You’re allowed to be “good” at being single — i.e. you enjoy time alone, you fly through your to-do lists and you can handle being dateless at a wedding. Your single status is only “permanent” if you choose to keep it that way! Whatever is making you feel bad about yourself is temporary — it’s one person (or maybe it’s a string of them) who can’t make the connection with your fabulous self, not the whole human race. You’re currently single because you haven’t found a specific person you want to settle down with who loves you completely. That’s the real reason you’re single. But if you want a relationship (because you can be good at that, too!), decide right now that you’re meant to be in one and watch the dating world flock to you and your aura of optimism.

Hey Guys! Here's 20 Signs That She's Into You

2011-02-18T12:40:00.000-08:00

Stop using clichés like: 'Women are from another planet; who can understand them?" and try to notice and understand her gestures; you may find out that she likes you. We all know that it's not hard

at all to read between the lines when it comes about flirt. After all, what matters is to make an effort in order to get what you want and to get into the unpredictable game of relationships. In the end, it may help you to find the girl of your dreams.
How to find out if she likes you?
1. She will always look into your eyes while talking. Often, this means sincerity, and she wishes to be appreciated primarily for that.
2. At first, she will avoid any context where you can watch her eating. And this is not because she's mad about diets; remember that most women simply don't feel comfortable in this posture when they try to impress.
3. She tries to outline her physical strengths. That doesn't mean that she wears very short skirts and high heels at the first date, but that she feels good with herself. She's not afraid to express this through image and eventually wants to receive some subtle compliments from you.
4. She becomes slightly defensive when the people around seem curious about the possible relationship between you.
5. She tends to disapprove the arguments you brought in the favor of other woman.
6. She spoils you subtly and expresses her admiration towards the things you like.
7. Your date partner smiles more when she's near you, being shy and talking about things that you might be interested in.
8. She tries to come next to you through different gestures and talks about her lacks when she wants to receive compliments.
9. She keeps her legs crossed and changes their position often.
10. She touches your arm slightly when she laughs;
11. She touches her lips or bites them easy or she plays with the glass, trying to draw attention on her.
12. She smiles every time she sees you, and her cheeks become pink.
13. Probably you need x-rays to notice this: the dilatation of her pupils when she sees you- this will always betray her passion for you.
14. When the date ends, she asks you about the next date or she gives you her phone number.
15. If she really likes you, she won't accept to sleep with you after the first date.
16. She adopts a slightly distant tone when she talks to other women who approach you, suggesting that there is no place for them.
17. She likes to introduce you to her friends and accepts to meet yours.
18. She asks you about your favorite bars and restaurant and about the way you spend your free time. She thinks that maybe you'll meet "accidentally" someday...
19. She tells you things that she wouldn't tell anyone and this is a very important sign that she likes you; her trust is everything you could wish for. But remember! If she tells you things about her entire life and has the tendency to ask you for advice, it means that she wants only your friendship. In this case, don't try to change suddenly her opinion.
20. She simply invites you to spend a few hours together (at a party, at the theatre, etc). Even if she approaches you directly, don't judge her. Give her some time to prove you what she really wants.