Unfortunately, what you do with your hands can be one of the quickest non-verbal ways to destroy the attraction that a woman feels for you, because the wrong hand movements can communicate that you are a low-status, beta male. To make matters worse, your hands can be particularly tough to manage because, let's face it, when you feel nervous, the hardest thing in the world is figuring out what to do with your hands!
For success with your dating and seduction of women, make sure you don't make the following body language mistakes with your hands.
MISTAKE ONE. Displaying your anxiety with your hands.
You do this when you:
1) Shred napkins.
2) Make your hands into fists.
3) Sit on your hands.
4) Hold something and play with it.
5) Twiddle your fingers or thumbs.
6) Hold your hands unnaturally still.
7) Sit on your hands to avoid having the woman see them tremble.
Although you might be feeling nervous, the last thing you want to do is to let the woman detect you feel that way.
Instead you want to convey that you're calm and in control. Nothing attracts a woman more than a man who's laid back and confident.
MISTAKE TWO. Putting your fingers into your mouth.
When you bite your nails or otherwise chew on your fingers, you are, according to psychologists, doing the same thing that infants are doing when they suck their mother's breast.
For a baby, breast feeding provides comfort. When we became toddlers, our thumbs replaced our mom's nipple.
And then as adults, biting our thumbnail does the same thing. Ever noticed that when you're out in public, you mainly bite your nails when you're under pressure?
THE SOLUTION. Just hold your hands relaxed on the table.
Rest your forearms on the table, keeping your arms open and letting them drop forward.
Keep your hands and arms open and relaxed. Most of the time this means having them about 18 inches or half a meter apart, your palms facing each other, with fingers curved slightly upward.
As your palms face each other, they should also face the woman. Open palms convey honesty and being completely comfortable with yourself. Having the back of your hands facing her can often convey that you're hiding something.
Demonstrating your confidence can be as easy as that! Stop twiddling your thumbs and watch the women flock to you.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Why are you single?
If you’re single, I’m sure you’ve asked yourself more than once: “Why me?” As for the answer, chances are your friends and family may have been more than, ahem, generous in offering their opinions, and I’ll bet that little voice in your head has had a say, too. But before you find fault in what you’re doing on the dating scene, take a look at what you’re thinking. You may simply be suffering from a slight spell of dating pessimism.
I look at dating this way: sometimes it’s not about what actually happens on dates; rather, it’s your explanation of what happened that makes all the difference in your attitude about love, your dating style, and the energy you’re radiating in the presence of your matches. It’s a theory that Martin Seligman, Ph.D., the father of positive psychology and author of Authentic Happiness calls your “explanatory style.” He says that pessimists explain their problems as pervasive (“No one likes me”), permanent (“I’ll be alone forever”) and personal (“I’m not gorgeous enough”). But you’re far more likely to land in a great relationship if you’re an optimist, which means it’s time to start looking at your negative dating experiences as “atypical,” “temporary” and “not about me.”
Here, for example, are some of the most common (and frustrating) reasons that people believe they aren’t going to find someone to date. If you’ve ever said any of the statements below, I’ll help you pep-talk yourself through the pessimism and remind you of qualities to focus on instead in order to prepare yourself for a successful relationship.
“Nobody is looking for someone like me.” This is a “pervasive” way to look at your situation, declaring that your single status is both far-reaching and without exceptions. But look at what you’re really saying: nobody is looking for someone like you. That is just plain wrong! Take the “specific” point of view instead: for whatever reason, the last few failed dates you had were, indeed, looking for someone different — but so were you! You want someone who loves and appreciates your unique qualities and one-of-a-kind laugh, right? Then keep your eyes peeled for that person. You two just haven’t met yet.
“I’m cursed. I’ll never meet anyone.” This your way of thinking of your current single status as “permanent” — and it’s obviously not true. You meet lots of new people all the time. You just haven’t met anyone lately that inspired romantic feelings in you, which is more common than you think. As a dating optimist, look at your permanent “table for one” reservation as a “temporary” seat at the bar instead. From now on, tell yourself the truth: “I haven’t met anyone I like yet, but I will.”
“I’m not attractive/smart/rich/young/hot enough.” Here’s what’s wrong with this reasoning: You’re taking the opinions of strangers too personally. I don’t blame you — it certainly feels personal because it’s not your résumé or pencil drawing that someone is rejecting; that someone is rejecting you. But if someone doesn’t want to date you, it’s not about you personally, it’s about the connection (or lack thereof). I’ll say that again because it’s important: It’s not about you, it’s about the fact that you don’t share a romantic connection with this particular person. You might be face to face with someone who has all the qualities you want in a partner on paper — smart, funny, attractive, driven, comes from a good family — but no matter how many matches you strike, you can’t seem to fire up that crucial spark that sets your hearts aflame. That’s all the proof you need to know it’s not about you; the right partner will be just as into you, too. Forget about what people might think of you and focus on the connection you feel instead.
“Men/Women just don’t like people as _________ as me.” Yes, they do! Let me ask you this: Do you have a friend? Does one human being out there enjoy spending time with you? Then people do like you — you just haven’t made that specific romantic connection with anyone… yet.
“I’m better at being single. I guess I’m just supposed to stay single forever.” Just because one failed relationship brought you down doesn’t mean you’re meant to be alone for life. You’re allowed to be “good” at being single — i.e. you enjoy time alone, you fly through your to-do lists and you can handle being dateless at a wedding. Your single status is only “permanent” if you choose to keep it that way! Whatever is making you feel bad about yourself is temporary — it’s one person (or maybe it’s a string of them) who can’t make the connection with your fabulous self, not the whole human race. You’re currently single because you haven’t found a specific person you want to settle down with who loves you completely. That’s the real reason you’re single. But if you want a relationship (because you can be good at that, too!), decide right now that you’re meant to be in one and watch the dating world flock to you and your aura of optimism.
I look at dating this way: sometimes it’s not about what actually happens on dates; rather, it’s your explanation of what happened that makes all the difference in your attitude about love, your dating style, and the energy you’re radiating in the presence of your matches. It’s a theory that Martin Seligman, Ph.D., the father of positive psychology and author of Authentic Happiness calls your “explanatory style.” He says that pessimists explain their problems as pervasive (“No one likes me”), permanent (“I’ll be alone forever”) and personal (“I’m not gorgeous enough”). But you’re far more likely to land in a great relationship if you’re an optimist, which means it’s time to start looking at your negative dating experiences as “atypical,” “temporary” and “not about me.”
Here, for example, are some of the most common (and frustrating) reasons that people believe they aren’t going to find someone to date. If you’ve ever said any of the statements below, I’ll help you pep-talk yourself through the pessimism and remind you of qualities to focus on instead in order to prepare yourself for a successful relationship.
“Nobody is looking for someone like me.” This is a “pervasive” way to look at your situation, declaring that your single status is both far-reaching and without exceptions. But look at what you’re really saying: nobody is looking for someone like you. That is just plain wrong! Take the “specific” point of view instead: for whatever reason, the last few failed dates you had were, indeed, looking for someone different — but so were you! You want someone who loves and appreciates your unique qualities and one-of-a-kind laugh, right? Then keep your eyes peeled for that person. You two just haven’t met yet.
“I’m cursed. I’ll never meet anyone.” This your way of thinking of your current single status as “permanent” — and it’s obviously not true. You meet lots of new people all the time. You just haven’t met anyone lately that inspired romantic feelings in you, which is more common than you think. As a dating optimist, look at your permanent “table for one” reservation as a “temporary” seat at the bar instead. From now on, tell yourself the truth: “I haven’t met anyone I like yet, but I will.”
“I’m not attractive/smart/rich/young/hot enough.” Here’s what’s wrong with this reasoning: You’re taking the opinions of strangers too personally. I don’t blame you — it certainly feels personal because it’s not your résumé or pencil drawing that someone is rejecting; that someone is rejecting you. But if someone doesn’t want to date you, it’s not about you personally, it’s about the connection (or lack thereof). I’ll say that again because it’s important: It’s not about you, it’s about the fact that you don’t share a romantic connection with this particular person. You might be face to face with someone who has all the qualities you want in a partner on paper — smart, funny, attractive, driven, comes from a good family — but no matter how many matches you strike, you can’t seem to fire up that crucial spark that sets your hearts aflame. That’s all the proof you need to know it’s not about you; the right partner will be just as into you, too. Forget about what people might think of you and focus on the connection you feel instead.
“Men/Women just don’t like people as _________ as me.” Yes, they do! Let me ask you this: Do you have a friend? Does one human being out there enjoy spending time with you? Then people do like you — you just haven’t made that specific romantic connection with anyone… yet.
“I’m better at being single. I guess I’m just supposed to stay single forever.” Just because one failed relationship brought you down doesn’t mean you’re meant to be alone for life. You’re allowed to be “good” at being single — i.e. you enjoy time alone, you fly through your to-do lists and you can handle being dateless at a wedding. Your single status is only “permanent” if you choose to keep it that way! Whatever is making you feel bad about yourself is temporary — it’s one person (or maybe it’s a string of them) who can’t make the connection with your fabulous self, not the whole human race. You’re currently single because you haven’t found a specific person you want to settle down with who loves you completely. That’s the real reason you’re single. But if you want a relationship (because you can be good at that, too!), decide right now that you’re meant to be in one and watch the dating world flock to you and your aura of optimism.
Hey Guys! Here's 20 Signs That She's Into You
Stop using clichés like: 'Women are from another planet; who can understand them?" and try to notice and understand her gestures; you may find out that she likes you. We all know that it's not hard
at all to read between the lines when it comes about flirt. After all, what matters is to make an effort in order to get what you want and to get into the unpredictable game of relationships. In the end, it may help you to find the girl of your dreams.
How to find out if she likes you?
1. She will always look into your eyes while talking. Often, this means sincerity, and she wishes to be appreciated primarily for that.
2. At first, she will avoid any context where you can watch her eating. And this is not because she's mad about diets; remember that most women simply don't feel comfortable in this posture when they try to impress.
3. She tries to outline her physical strengths. That doesn't mean that she wears very short skirts and high heels at the first date, but that she feels good with herself. She's not afraid to express this through image and eventually wants to receive some subtle compliments from you.
4. She becomes slightly defensive when the people around seem curious about the possible relationship between you.
5. She tends to disapprove the arguments you brought in the favor of other woman.
6. She spoils you subtly and expresses her admiration towards the things you like.
7. Your date partner smiles more when she's near you, being shy and talking about things that you might be interested in.
8. She tries to come next to you through different gestures and talks about her lacks when she wants to receive compliments.
9. She keeps her legs crossed and changes their position often.
10. She touches your arm slightly when she laughs;
11. She touches her lips or bites them easy or she plays with the glass, trying to draw attention on her.
12. She smiles every time she sees you, and her cheeks become pink.
13. Probably you need x-rays to notice this: the dilatation of her pupils when she sees you- this will always betray her passion for you.
14. When the date ends, she asks you about the next date or she gives you her phone number.
15. If she really likes you, she won't accept to sleep with you after the first date.
16. She adopts a slightly distant tone when she talks to other women who approach you, suggesting that there is no place for them.
17. She likes to introduce you to her friends and accepts to meet yours.
18. She asks you about your favorite bars and restaurant and about the way you spend your free time. She thinks that maybe you'll meet "accidentally" someday...
19. She tells you things that she wouldn't tell anyone and this is a very important sign that she likes you; her trust is everything you could wish for. But remember! If she tells you things about her entire life and has the tendency to ask you for advice, it means that she wants only your friendship. In this case, don't try to change suddenly her opinion.
20. She simply invites you to spend a few hours together (at a party, at the theatre, etc). Even if she approaches you directly, don't judge her. Give her some time to prove you what she really wants.
How to find out if she likes you?
1. She will always look into your eyes while talking. Often, this means sincerity, and she wishes to be appreciated primarily for that.
2. At first, she will avoid any context where you can watch her eating. And this is not because she's mad about diets; remember that most women simply don't feel comfortable in this posture when they try to impress.
3. She tries to outline her physical strengths. That doesn't mean that she wears very short skirts and high heels at the first date, but that she feels good with herself. She's not afraid to express this through image and eventually wants to receive some subtle compliments from you.
4. She becomes slightly defensive when the people around seem curious about the possible relationship between you.
5. She tends to disapprove the arguments you brought in the favor of other woman.
6. She spoils you subtly and expresses her admiration towards the things you like.
7. Your date partner smiles more when she's near you, being shy and talking about things that you might be interested in.
8. She tries to come next to you through different gestures and talks about her lacks when she wants to receive compliments.
9. She keeps her legs crossed and changes their position often.
10. She touches your arm slightly when she laughs;
11. She touches her lips or bites them easy or she plays with the glass, trying to draw attention on her.
12. She smiles every time she sees you, and her cheeks become pink.
13. Probably you need x-rays to notice this: the dilatation of her pupils when she sees you- this will always betray her passion for you.
14. When the date ends, she asks you about the next date or she gives you her phone number.
15. If she really likes you, she won't accept to sleep with you after the first date.
16. She adopts a slightly distant tone when she talks to other women who approach you, suggesting that there is no place for them.
17. She likes to introduce you to her friends and accepts to meet yours.
18. She asks you about your favorite bars and restaurant and about the way you spend your free time. She thinks that maybe you'll meet "accidentally" someday...
19. She tells you things that she wouldn't tell anyone and this is a very important sign that she likes you; her trust is everything you could wish for. But remember! If she tells you things about her entire life and has the tendency to ask you for advice, it means that she wants only your friendship. In this case, don't try to change suddenly her opinion.
20. She simply invites you to spend a few hours together (at a party, at the theatre, etc). Even if she approaches you directly, don't judge her. Give her some time to prove you what she really wants.
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